occupation: prophet


Cue Sarah McLachlan

I know I’m in the right major because dropping $100 on books for class is less a burden and more an excuse to buy $100 worth of books.


God it’s only like August and I swear I’m already preparing sacrifices for our pumpkin spice overlords.

Aug 8

So are we doing anything for Augustus’ 2000th death anniversary this month or are we all just a bunch of heartless bastards hmm?

If the reader objects that in this last we have fiction and history carelessly mingled, the answer of the storyteller may well be that for their purpose there is no such thing as “fiction”. There exists for the storyteller only the true and the false; and with the latter he has, or should have, nothing to do. Even younger children should know what we mean when we say “This story is not a story of fact; but it is true for all of that.”

- A Guide to Storytelling -Arthur Burrell

Aug 7

Have you ever been so happy to be home that you tear up when your laptop automatically connects to the wifi?

Aug 6

I’ve been kicking around this idea for a while now.

I’ve been playing with my knowledge of folk/Appalachian/gospel songs and rewriting them with a Greek Mythology bend. It’s been tricky because the simple rhyming scheme feels really cheesy to write, but that’s the nature of the beast I guess. I kind of hate it… I am conflicted.

This is my first quick and rough attempt. It isn’t done by any means. I need to hammer it out some more, make it fit the cadence better (suggestions welcomed! Seriously, I would like these to be collaborative). I want to do others as well.

It is an exchange between Athena and Medusa, with references to other stories. It is based off “Oh, Death”. I am not sure how well the timing I was going for will translate if you don’t know the original song so here is a performance of the version I’m talking about and here are the lyrics.

Read More

Aug 5



Thank you latining. You’re the coolest.

I am getting really annoyed with this line of questioning. For the first time in years when I think about the future I think about choosing between the kind of lifestyle that will allow me multiple dogs vs one where I travel. That is a dramatic improvement for my mental health.

My choices are influenced by my community because I HAVE A COMMUNITY. There are people in my life I love and want to live near. It wasn’t two years ago when I was honestly telling people, “I don’t know, let’s see if I live that long first okay?” I couldn’t see any future at all, I intended to die. Now I fill my quiet moments with potential names for puppies.

What is the point of trying to put me back into a place of hopelessness?

I could have written all of this myself. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling about life and my future in general.

What do you think about Dorian Greyhound?

Yes to dog name / literature puns!

It actually went down like this

  • Complete Stranger: So are you going to be a lawyer too?
  • Me: Oh fuck no. I'm going to go to grad school. I am thinking about religious studies.
  • CS: The thing about religious studies is after grad school you have to get a job.
  • Me: ... Yeah, I am aware. I had a job, and now I am a nearly 30 year old undergrad in a Classical Studies program so I think it is safe to say my top priority isn't fiscal security. Also my strengths are in the humanities so exactly what route do you suggest I take?
  • CS: ...
  • Me: Honestly, exactly what degree right now has promise? Hmm? I am looking at religious studies because I found a good program that will pay for my masters, let me learn the languages I want before starting my doctorate work. But seriously, tell me, what should I do with my life because clearly there is SOME PERFECT ANSWER AND NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHAT IT IS.
Aug 4

I’m sick as fuck. Spent the whole weekend in bed sick. My grumpiness over having the plague (pneumonia maybe) was only made worse by the fact that all the other people in the hostel were beautiful 21 year old European kids with healthy soccer bodies. They all look like they’ve never had the sniffles in their lives.
Now I am in the main reading room of the LOC and trying not to cough. It echoes in 8 places when cough in here. Also there are no tissues.

There is only one thing we say to the god of death: “yeah today would be fine.”

Aug 1

Also after 2 hours in the law library I flipped out, cursed anyone who might suggest I practice law, and then ordered nearly the entire Loeb collection. I plan to spend the next two days in the lovely main reading room. Did you really think you could bring me to the biggest library on earth and I wouldn’t look up classics stuff? Ha!

Any suggestions?

This afternoon I found myself sitting just outside the Madison building of the Library of Congress.  What I found in the Manuscript Reading Room was so goddamn disheartening that I just had to go out and absorb the unnaturally good weather.

So much greed.

I am aware that the evils of capitalism aren’t accidental. I am not surprised by anything I’ve found, but something about holding the actual genesis of Regeanomics and Bush public policy in your hands…


I am reading the papers of conservative think tanks from the 1970’s and it is fucking horrifying.


I got to the part about how all the business owners need to take a page from the liberal play book and combine their power to influence policymakers, and that shareholders are just as important as labor, and I walked out of the room dry heaving.

It wouldn’t be so terrible if they hadn’t been so damn successful.

Tomorrow I am going to be watching a video of seminars born of that mindset. 8 hours of anti-union, pro-management tactics. I bet I make it an hour before rage quitting.


Okay, I still have to check for grammar errors and add the images but I am going to do that when I get back from DC. But basically,

I am finished with the thing no one will read ever! Fuck yeah!

Holy shit it is done! I wrote the thing! Now I just have to format my citations and edit for grammar! Holy Fuck!

*looks at final word count* Huh. I’d thought it would be bigger…

Here’s Something Strange.

Classical Studies keeps me up at night.

In the spirit of the free exchange of ideas, here is a strange thing I can’t stop thinking about.

So, I read this not very good book that suggested that the Sirens become so sexualized later because of their juxtaposition to Circe. The idea being that they both pose similar threats, but thru different means. The Sirens stroke their victim’s egos (depending on your reading) and Circe just strokes her victims off. *rimshot* Either way, fall for it and you’ll never return to your wife and have your happy homecoming. The article stretched the idea a bit much (hence being not very good) but it got me thinking. That is totally what happened to Mary Magdalene.

So hear me out. The Sirens don’t really get sexualized in classical antiquity. They become more chthonic, but they don’t get sexy until the 10th century CE when Suidas calls their songs lewd.

It is all downhill from there. Forget prophet birds, forget assurances that you will be remembered after you die, and forget the offer of forbidden knowledge. From there on out the Sirens are about nothing but temptation of the flesh because some Christians were still lusting over Circe and getting their sticky-Catholic-guilt-riddled-shame all over the place. The same thing happens to Mary Magdalene. She’s suppose to be a disciple for fuck sake. However, because Mary’s story textually appears right after Jesus okey-dokes a sex-worker with the whole “he who is without sin” bit…

BAM! Slut shaming by proximity!